How have your goals and desires been working out for you?
(4 Minute Read)
Are you achieving the goals you set out to accomplish at the turn of the new year? How have they been working out for you? Contrary to what we have been taught, determination, motivation, and even affirmations won’t help you, at least not until you make some fundamental changes first. Forcing yourself to accomplish a desire will most certainly backfire in the long run and sadly (and most importantly!) your desires will be nothing but a struggle for you along the way.
You’ve heard the saying, The Joy is in The Journey?, well, there’s an awful lot of truth to that, especially since it applies to your day-to-day lives and habits. Try to think of the journey as only a 24 hour period, one day of your life, and each day of your life. If you are not enjoying the process of how you are getting to the things you want every day, the things you want won’t come, or they’ll come, but after much difficulty and a lot of extra hard work. This is the daily struggle so many people suffer with. The endless stress and chaos that we believe controls our lives.
Wouldn’t it be nice if it were easier?
If you are not in alignment with your True Self — the centered, connected, guided by Source part of you — than the joyful part of the journey will elude you and your life becomes hard. Life is all about how you get to your destination — whether that’s the ideal weight, a peaceful day, a pile of money, or the perfect lover — and not about when you get there. It’s about how you spend each and every day working towards it.
How will you show up? Who will you be? Are you still complaining that you haven’t lost those last few pounds or are you thrilled you have learned healthier eating habits that will last you a lifetime? Do you continue to speak of how stressful your job is or are you grateful you have one. What story are you still telling? What story do you want to tell about yourself moving forward? The question we really need to ask ourselves is if we are happy with our story. Can we continue to tell it and feel good or is it bringing us—and others— down each time we open our mouths to speak.
We need to remember that wherever we go, we take ourselves with us.
Im not talking about a physical journey such as a move or a trip, I’m talking about us as individuals moving forward in our lives. Who are we bringing to the party? How are we showing up in the world? How are we showing up every day? Are we so tired of yesterday or yesteryear that we just want to kick it to the curb and move on to what’s next? That’s a very stressful way to live and guess what? What’s next is a repeat of what just was unless we take the steps change. We aren’t receiving the things we want in life because of outside forces preventing them, we aren’t receiving them because we aren’t letting ourselves receive them. We learn to do that by changing our behavior.
When I ask Did You Take Yourself With You? I am asking if you have brought your old ways of thinking and habits forward to the present, to the now? To today.
Your dreams, goals, and desires can certainly be attained but if your dragging old patterns of thoughts with you, no amount of determination will help you succeed and the repeating of affirmations will only frustrate you. You have much more control over the outcome than you think and a simple solution is just a matter of changing a few words around.
What are you speaking? Are you repeating the struggle of why you haven’t gotten there yet or are you inspired by what’s coming your way? Do you say one thing but mean a different thing? You can tell if you are in alignment with your desires by paying attention to how the things that you say feel when you say them.
Try this out. Replace one of the most habitual three-letter words in your vocabulary with another three-letter word and see what happens.
Replace but with and…
This is how we change our thought process and slowly start to shift our belief systems so we can have achievable outcomes. Remember, it’s all about how you feel when you speak the words, not the actual words themselves.
See if you can relate to the intentions below and notice how you feel when you say them:
- I want to be financially successful but I am swimming in debt right now and can’t get ahead.
- I want to lose 20 pounds but I have tried every diet on the planet and nothing has worked.
- I want to get in better physical shape but I don’t have the time to work out.
- I want to have a happy love life but all the men/women I date are losers.
- I want to have less stress in my life but there is so much chaos around me that I cant control.
- I want to have a normal, calm, and stress-free work day but my boss keeps adding work to my load, my co-workers complain all the time, and I never seem to get a break.
Now, say the following intentions and notice if you feel differently when you say them:
- I want to be financially successful and I am slowly working towards being debt-free.
- I want to lose 20 pounds and I know my body will respond to my healthier food choices.
- I want to get in better physical shape and I really love the idea of having a strong and healthy body.
- I want to have a happy love life and I believe that it’s possible for me.
- I want to have less stress in my life and I am learning to let go of the outcome of the things I cannot control.
- I want to have a normal, calm, and stress-free work day and I will start today by taking 5 minutes before I clock-in to close my eyes, breathe deeply, and center myself.
Did you notice a difference in how you felt as you spoke the words? The old-self intentions sound hopeless and defeatis. They sound like they’re holding you back. The new-self intentions have a lighter, effortless feel to them. They have more ease and flow, and they also sound as if anything could be possible.
It’s really a small simple shift and something everyone can do. In fact you can start right now. Repeat after me; “I want to have more control of my life and I am feeling really good about the changes I am making.”
Pay attention to your words in the next few days and notice how often you argue for your limitations by saying the word but. I’ll bet you’ll be pretty surprised that you say it more often than you think you do. Ask your spouse, kids, or friends, or co-workers to point it out each time you do and then play around with the phrase until it becomes effortless. This process is gradual but once you see where your patterns are you can adjust your vocabulary, the habit will eventually fade, and you’ll start seeing your goals and desires manifesting in front of your eyes.
Breathe Deep and Live Well,